Know what’s developmentally appropriate.Or role play scenarios in which you say “No, you can’t have that toy” and your daughter says, “Okay!” and you say, “Great job! I loved the way you said ‘okay’ and didn’t get upset.” Positive reinforcement goes a long way. So before you leave the car, explain that this is not a toy day, then stay in the car until she agrees to no toys. Your kid always begs for toys in the grocery store. You know your kid, so use that knowledge to your advantage. These are kids they will disrespect and embarrass you at times. Saying ”I’m not willing to be disrespected” or “I’m not willing to have you embarrass me” is ridiculous. Saying “You can’t scream because it’s disruptive and hurts people’s ears” is reasonable. Just be sure your boundaries are fair and achievable. There are things that you will not - cannot! should not! - allow your child to do. Here are just 12 of many, many ways to manage discipline without punishment. The trick is to stay in the realm of empathetic discipline without crossing over into the land of painful punishment. “If you don’t do your chores, you can’t go to the birthday party.”ĭisciplining our kids is the rent we pay for the privilege of being loved by a child it’s vital.“You drew on the walls again - timeout!”.“If you don’t keep your safety vest on, we’re going home.”.Punishment is enforcing discipline by inflicting physical or emotional pain - often by withholding or seizing something of value. “You have to keep the safety vest on in case you fall in the water.”.Today I’m going to tell you what to do instead.įirst, let me reiterate that punishment is not the same as discipline.ĭiscipline is setting limits and teaching those limits to your child. On Thursday, I joined a growing chorus of voices calling for parents to stop punishing their children - particularly through the employment of timeouts. And she is the most honest person I’ve ever met. She is resilient, well-adjusted, kind, compassionate and happy. But I can report to you that while my daughter has all the markers of a 10-year-old (for better or worse!), she also has more self-esteem than I know what to do with. My husband and I make lots of mistakes, and I have endless empathy for other parents trying their hardest to raise their kids right. Disciplining our kids is the rent we pay for the privilege of being loved by a child it’s vital.
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